Ten Years of Regret By Bruce Cook

"Life is never dull when you are around Jock Stewart," declared Mary as they drifted off to sleep. Principled man of action Jock Stewart cannot believe his luck when he meets the feisty, young business executive Mary Stuart, deep in the Scottish Highlands. Their blossoming love story sweeps us through the Scottish glens and around the world in a series of dramatic, daring and romantic escapades. However, misunderstandings and recriminations with her career ambition and his adventurous army life force them onto separate journeys. After years apart and just as they are about to reconnect, a brutal Glasgow crime gang intervenes with their destiny. Will Jock's stern principles hold fast or will he be forced into a rampage of revenge...

Mary slammed the phone down on the receiver and tears of anger and frustration flooded her eyes. She crossed over to the window and looked out, the dark dismal grey of Loch Leven blending with the rain-laden clouds which were sending sheets of heavy rain across the car park. She was determined not to shed one tear and reflected that the dismal view outside matched her inner thoughts. Laura, her roommate for the weekend and assistant for this project, looked up from her magazine and asked quietly, “Bad news Mary?” Mary turned from the window and said in a steady voice, “Bob’s not coming, although he promised faithfully that he would. He’s playing in the first team in the Scottish Cup tie against Glasgow Rangers. Curse men and football!”

W hen the two men left to go on their night-time expedition, Mary sat on the couch beside Mrs Campbell who poured them each a large whisky and water. She enquired about Mary, her job and how she had met Jock. Mary explained her relationship with Bob, her deep disappointment in him not coming this weekend and her meeting with Jock. Before Mary could refuse, Mrs Campbell poured them both another whisky and water. “Before we go any further Mary, call me Beth, all my friends do and I am going to tell you about Doug and me. We met at college and fell madly in love. We married just before Doug was drafted into the Air Force and shipped over to Korea. I worried myself sick while he was away but during every furlough, you call it leave, it was like another honeymoon, each one getting better and better. When Doug left the Air Force, he and a friend bought two surplus Dakota transport planes and started flying freight for a major oil firm. Exciting days! I worked the books and the money roll...

    The meal was over and the ballroom in the hotel was full of the employees and their partners from the Glasgow office of Campbell Holdings. The band were tuning their instruments and Mary, Laura, Barry and all the staff and friends from Mary’s department were sitting at the same table with their drinks.     As Laura had obviously told her colleagues about Mary's new friend, she was subjected to many questions and comments: “Is he coming to the dance tonight?” “Did he really stand up to Mr Campbell?” “Laura says he scrubs up well.”     Mary made an excuse and had a quick look in the public bar, surprised to see some of the shinty players still there in their strips and still talking about the game. But no Jock. She had a sinking feeling that Jock wasn't coming.

    Four weeks later, Mary was standing at the arrival concourse at Glasgow Airport, waiting for a flight from Heathrow Airport. She was excited as she was meeting Jock who was on a seventy-two-hour pass from his course and they had agreed to spend it in a log cabin on the shores of Loch Lomond. Suddenly, she saw him come striding through the door, carrying a huge rucksack over one shoulder. She rushed to meet him and without hesitation threw her arms around him. They kissed, impervious to the amused and admiring glances from fellow passengers. Taking his arm, she guided Jock to where her Ford Escort was parked. They talked to each other about the journey, office politics and the parachute course, both happy to be in one another’s company. As they drove over the Erskine Bridge, the rain which had been threatening all day started as a steady downpour and continued without respite until they reached their cabin which was partly built on stilts, actually in the loch. It had a...

    Six weeks later, Mary reflected on how things had taken a new direction. She and Jock had phoned at every opportunity they could manage. He had passed the parachute course and was stationed at Pirbright which was only a half hour journey from London. The job in London was hers and she now lived alone, for the first time in her life, in a luxury block of flats overlooking Hyde Park in central London. Her work was interesting and the few wrinkles of problems had been solved. The concierge system of security and maintenance at the flats was annoying but necessary she thought as she walked from the office to her home. It was six weeks since she had seen Jock and he was coming to see her this weekend and staying until Sunday evening. I hope I am there before him as that dour head concierge will not let him past the door, thought Mary as she pressed the buzzer to gain entrance to the foyer.

    Next morning, Mary was called into the head office and informed that next weekend she was going to Toronto to the AGM of Campbell Holdings and that the Glasgow office had nominated her as employee of the year. She would be accompanied by Miss Laura Scott from Glasgow who had filled her vacancy when she left. They would travel business class and all accommodation would be paid for. Mary was excited but disappointed that she couldn’t tell Jock her good news as he was on exercise in the north of Scotland. The other fly in the ointment was that she had to address the heads of department in her office about the AGM on her return.

    It was decided that they would go on a two-day hike in the Scottish Highlands and Jock would carry both sleeping bags, emergency kit, food, fuel and utensils. Mary would carry her personal gear, the chocolate and fruit. The plan was to take the sleeper train to Blair Athol, walk up Glen Tilt and on to Glen Feshie, stay the night in the bothy at Aiteachairn and then walk to Kingussie. If the weather was good, they might climb a hill on the way to Kingussie and would stay in the Duke of Gordon Hotel, a night of luxury after two days of hardship. Jock told Mary to ensure that she had warm clothing as it could get very cold in the Cairngorms, even in October. She was looking forward to the weekend as she had never done anything so adventurous before. She felt just a little bit apprehensive but knowing that Jock was with her gave her a comfortable confidence.

 At the office next morning, Mary got a call to go to the managing director’s office where she was told that her enquiry with the Swedish firm Saab had paid off. Three directors from the company were flying into London in two days’ time to have a meeting with Government officials in Whitehall before flying up to Scotland to view the smelters at Kinlochleven and Fort William. Mary’s instructions were to meet them at the airport, escort them to London, liaise with them and arrange transport, accommodation and any sight-seeing that was required. Their visit would extend well into next week and no expense was to be spared to secure the contract, especially as the chairman of the company, Mr Petersen, was coming. She would be helped by someone from the Glasgow Office and negotiations would be made by another representative of the firm.

Jock told Mary that he was going away on exercise again and that it would be late November before he would be back in this country. He told her that he had been given an invitation for himself and a partner to attend St Andrew’s night at Victoria Barracks in Windsor, held by the 1st Battalion Scots Guards. Jock was only a junior NCO but this event was a highlight of the social calendar and was only for officers and senior NCOs, and their partners, to attend. Usually, a member of the Royal Family attended and well-known celebrities would be present. It was altogether a rather posh affair and he was perplexed as to why he had been invited.   Mary was delighted and thought a shopping spree next weekend was a definite activity and she certainly pushed the boat out on it. She bought a lovely, deep green, Grecian-style evening dress which complimented her red hair and a costume jewellery necklace which was a bit extravagant but just added the final touch, matching her dress and new sho...

  Later in the week, Mary got a phone call from Jock informing her that he was on standby duty from next weekend and that he was on guard duty on Christmas day and Boxing Day. The next time he would see her would be Boxing day afternoon. Mary was so disappointed that she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She had been so looking forward to a skiing holiday in the Alps. Jock phoned her every evening that week, but then the phone calls ceased. After several nights without a call Mary phoned the Barracks at Pirbright and was told that Jock was on active service and would be unable to contact her. Perplexed by the secrecy of the army, Mary had an uneasy feeling that all was not well.

   The following weekend, Mary wrote a long letter to Jock which was eventually returned to her, unopened. Midway through January, she received a telephone call from Laura Scott in Glasgow asking her to be Matron of Honour at her wedding at the end of that month. It was to be a quiet and simple affair at the Registry Office. On the requested date, Mary flew up to Glasgow and stayed the night at Laura's flat where they had a good heart to heart talk with each other. Laura revealed that she was pregnant and that the baby was due in late June but the real haste for the wedding, and for it being a simple affair, was that they had bought a small caravan site shop and filling station at a place called Memus near Forfar in Angus. Hence the small wedding to save costs and, after the ceremony, they were driving straight to their new home. Mary was delighted for them and, after speaking about her fall out with Jock, she felt so much better. She was even more delighted and honoured...

   For the next three years, Mary's life consisted of working hard, keeping fit, going on exotic holidays in the summer, ski holidays in the winter and visiting Scotland to see and attempt to spoil her goddaughter. Then, one afternoon in the office, there was a sensation on the TV in the canteen area. There was a terrorist attack on the Iranian embassy, about a mile from where they were. Hostages had been held since mid-morning and negotiations were taking place but with no success. This had been happening for twenty-four hours but TV coverage had been curtailed. All work in the office ceased as everyone crowded into the canteen, spellbound by the drama that was unfolding on the TV.

  The following year, the AGM of Campbell Holdings was to be held in Wellington, New Zealand but only a selected few employees would be chosen to attend. Mary was one of them. She flew out to Auckland via New Zealand Airways, the usual business class. and then got a service flight from Auckland to Wellington. Emerging from the concourse at the airport, there was a driver holding up a board with her name on it. She introduced herself and was taken to the Park Royal Hotel in Wellington where, after booking in, she went straight to bed to overcome the jet lag. She wanted to be fresh and alert for the next day's meeting which looked like it was going to be a very important one.

  It was a pleasant flight over snow-capped mountains, green forests and blue lakes. Eventually they touched down on a grass landing-strip at the edge of a lake, near a very imposing log-built house. Beth and Doug Campbell came out to greet her. Both had aged a little since she had seen them, about three years previously, but they looked to be in good health and gave her a very warm welcome. Mary was ushered into the huge log cabin, which was furnished in a simple but obviously expensive manner. She was very tired and jet lagged after her long journey and she was shown straight to her room which overlooked the lake. She slept for twelve hours and awoke as daylight was breaking.

  Arriving in Kingussie, Mary booked accommodation at The Duke of Gordon Hotel. It crossed her mind that this would be an ideal venue for Doug Campbell's farewell AGM of Campbell Holdings next year. She asked to see the manager but it was his day off, so she made an appointment to see him the following day. When she asked the receptionist about Jock Stewart, the girl told her in no uncertain terms that if she was a newspaper reporter she was wasting her time because Jock had no time for them. She told Mary that just after Jock had arrived home from hospital, a photographer took a photo of him against his wishes. They were later stopped in Perth by plain clothes security officers, interrogated by the police for two hours and had their camera seized and the film confiscated. However, she did let Mary know that Jock lived at Achlean and that after buying it, he had been renovating it and the croft to a very high standard.

  Mary couldn’t sleep, even the comfort of her business class seat and the steady drone of the airline’s engines failed to induce her into the world of slumber. She looked over at Jock who was lying stretched out next to her, his steady breathing indicating he was fast asleep. She was envious of his ability to drop off into deep sleep at the first opportunity, something he had learned from his army service. As they flew over the Pacific, Mary enjoyed thinking about the three blissful days that they had spent in Dubai. The romantic evening meal on the Arab Dhow, the safari in the desert with the barbeque under the stars and the sheer luxury of their hotel. Now she was looking forward to flying into Auckland where they would collect a campervan and travel down the North Island for the next stage of their honeymoon. For the first time in her life, she was going to meet Jock’s family and it would be her family as well. This thought pleased and excited her. It was not like being a par...

  Next morning, Mary saw Jock off to work and then drove to the airfield to catch the flight to Wellington, from where she took a taxi to Campbell Holdings’ office. She was dressed in casual clothes for travelling and not in her usual business attire. Arriving at the office at nine o’clock sharp, Mary walked into the reception area and could only see two female members of staff. They were sitting down, drinking tea or coffee and engaged in casual conversation. Waiting several minutes to be attended to, she noticed four male members of staff come in and help themselves to some hot beverages. No apparent work was being carried out. Eventually, after about ten minutes’ wait, a male member of staff came over and asked if he could be of assistance to her.

  Mary looked at her watch which told her that it would be two hours before they arrived in Glasgow, about noon in that time zone. She looked over at Jock who was fast asleep in the comfort and luxury of business class travel. A train of thoughts coursed through her mind, making the possibility of sleep impossible. The joy and comfort of being part of a family was a welcome experience. At Singapore airport she checked her bank account and found that there was just under one thousand pounds, which would last her until the end of the month in two weeks’ time. Jock had very little, only what Slade had paid him for felling timber. Mary hadn’t paid him while they worked together. She would submit her expense account to the main office on Monday morning but it wouldn’t be a huge amount. What if she became pregnant, would they manage financially? The thought of being a mother appealed to her. The responsibility of the Glasgow and London offices would be a challenge although she was look...

  It was almost midday before Mary drove up to Achlean, thinking she would never be able to take the beauty of this glen for granted. When she stopped the engine, she could hear the noise of someone splitting logs for firewood. He sounds busy thought Mary and as she was opening the gate, Rambo appeared, going into a meerkat position in the hope of getting a treat. Coming round the corner of the house she could see Jock, oblivious to visitors, engrossed in working his way through a huge pile of wood. Even in the cold spring mountain air, he was sweating so profusely that his shirt was stained. As he bent to pick up a log, he became aware of Mary and a broad smile appeared on his face. He walked towards her and his hug and welcome kiss took her breath away. “I have really missed you,” were his first words. “Not as much as I’ve missed you,” replied Mary and they indulged in a long, lingering kiss.

  It was Friday and Mary decided she would finish work at lunchtime and go to surprise Jock who had started work at the Forestry Commission plantation near the foot of the glen. She was desperate for him to see the large bonus that had arrived from head office for the work they had done in New Zealand. It had been a busy week as there had been enquiries from at least twelve mountain rescue teams, all the ski resorts, several outdoor centres and Number 45 Commando unit at Arbroath in Angus. Ken Dow was ecstatic about the response which had been due to the free publicity on the TV when they had been at the Cairngorm ski slopes.

  As Jock was showing Mary the new buildings, Nan came out of her house along with Betty and Ewan. Jean was brushing and combing Whisky in the new stable which could be left open so that grazing would be available if the weather was clement. “You're looking pleased with yourself,” were Nan's opening words. “The shed and the stable will be handy in the winter.” Mary looked at Jock, “Will you tell her or will I?” “Your privilege,” acknowledged Jock. “I'm expecting a bairn in the spring,” announced Mary, “and we're going to celebrate in the Duke of Gordon tonight.”

  The weeks rolled by and Mary was the happiest she had ever been. Her pending motherhood suited her and everything at work was going smoothly. Jock’s Feshie Forestry was doing far better than expected and he had bought a small tractor and other implements for the croft. The Duke of Gordon Hotel was taking all the eggs and vegetables that he could produce. Mary missed Rambo greatly but not as much as Jock did. They decided to get another dog once the baby was born. If the truth be known, Mary was enjoying the attention Jock was giving her, full of concern for her well-being and insisting on doing small menial tasks for her.

  It was four weeks since Mary had come out of hospital and she was enjoying motherhood. They had decided to call the baby Shona and she was going to be christened in Kingussie church, where they were married, in four weeks’ time. Sergeant McLeod and his wife had become good friends with Jock and Mary. They visited weekly and informed them that the two assailants in the court toilet had pled guilty and were still in custody. They had been referred to the next sitting of the High Court for sentence. Linda McCulloch and her policeman boyfriend had paid Mary a day's visit with presents for the baby from all of the members of staff at the Glasgow office and to tell her that they were getting married later in the year.

  Walking through the concourse at Kennedy Airport in New York, Jock was aware of the inquisitive looks from other passengers as he strode to the exit, laden with his huge rucksack. He was dressed in hill-walking attire, in marked contrast to the casual dress of the passengers who were collecting their suitcases. He took a taxi to the railway station where he boarded a train to Maine. He intended to start his walk at Mount Katahdin and finish at Springer Mountain in Georgia. Once he started the walk, he surprised fellow walkers, whom he met enroute, with the daily distance he covered.

  Jock was in his room at the hotel in Prestwick, and getting ready for bed, when there was a knock at the door. When he opened it, he found Captain Roy Steele and his co-pilot Joe Rice. They gave him a uniform and told him to be ready at four o’clock next morning, as a taxi would be taking them to Prestwick Airport. They did not want to know how his trip had been but, from reading the newspapers and watching the television, they had drawn their own conclusions. Jock immediately paid his hotel bill and tried on the uniform which, surprisingly, was a perfect fit. Maybe I should have joined the RAF instead of the Scots Guards mused Jock, as he stood in front of the mirror. At four o’clock the following morning, he got into the taxi with the two pilots and was told to say nothing but to look sheepish and crestfallen as he went through security. The whole terminal was deserted at such an early hour and, as they approached security, Roy began to reprimand Jock on a serious breach of e...

  When Jock’s flight landed at Christchurch and he had collected his large rucksack, he stood outside the airport and decided that he would hitch-hike rather than take public transport to see his family at Nelson. He thought it would be good to phone Nan in Glen Feshie and tell her about his travels. Nan was delighted to get his phone call. After Jock had told her about his travels, she informed him that her son Ewan and his girlfriend Betty were getting married the following week as Betty was pregnant. Nan was excited about the prospect of becoming a grandmother. The business and the croft were doing well, but Kingussie Shinty team were struggling a bit. Now that the business was doing so well, the bank had offered a huge mortgage to buy the croft and Jock’s share of business. She also informed him that Linda McCulloch was due to get married and was very interested in buying the flat in Glasgow. She asked him if he knew where the key was and could he phone Linda when Nan had giv...